No One's Zooming In On You
Here's Why That Frees You
I used to assume people noticed everything—the awkward comment, the stumble, the typo. Turns out most of them don’t. They’re too busy trying to get through their own day. That realization? It changed how I show up at work and in life.
Here’s something I’ve learned the hard way (more than once):
Most people aren’t paying attention to your imperfections.
They’re just trying to solve their own stuff.
It’s both humbling and wildly freeing.
A Common Belief: "Everyone's watching. So I better get it right."
We think we’re being watched. Evaluated. Judged. That awkward story we told? Definitely being replayed. That typo in the email? Surely, someone screenshotted it. That moment, we stumbled over our words? They're probably still talking about it.
But here’s the truth: Most people don’t notice. And the ones who do? They forget.
This belief—that the world is zoomed in on us—is known as the spotlight effect. It’s a real thing. Psychologists have proven that we overestimate how much people pay attention to us.
And it shows up in business, too. We overthink our content. We delay launches. We polish things to death. All because we think someone’s keeping score.
They're not.
The Invisible Stumble That Shifted Everything
Years ago, I volunteered to take a group of teen girls to a football game.
It was a regular night—cold bleachers, halftime band, tired kids.
When one of the moms offered to take the girls for a sleepover, I had a rare treat: just me and my little boy headed back to the car early.
He was dragging. I was, too. So I hoisted him up on my back for a piggyback ride.
And then I tripped.
Hard.
My ankle popped. My body twisted. My son squealed.
And not one person stopped.
At first, I was hurt. Then I was mad.
And then I realized—they didn’t even see me.
They were just trying to beat traffic. Just like I was.
That’s when it clicked:
They weren’t rude. They were just focused on their own path.
And maybe… I could do the same.
3 Simple Mindset Shifts That Changed How I Show Up
1. Everyone’s living their own movie.
You’re the star in yours. But in theirs? You might be background noise—if that.
This isn’t rejection. It’s a relief.
2. Imperfect is more relatable than polished.
Clients don’t need a flawless version of you. They need someone who understands and who shows up. Your presence is more powerful than your polish.
3. Make peace with being unseen sometimes.
Because it means you can try things, test ideas, and even fail—without the whole world watching. That gets you back in motion. It’s not about ignoring the fall—it’s about not staying down.
What If They’re Not Watching?
I know "don't care what others think" is oversaid advice. But this version is different.
It’s not about developing thick skin or pretending you don’t care. It’s about recognizing that most people are too busy to notice.
And the freedom that brings? It's not about being bolder. It's about being real. Real is what makes people trust you. Real is what keeps people coming back.
How to experiment with this idea today
Try one of these—no perfection required:
Post something helpful without obsessing. Let it be 80% done and 100% honest.
Speak up in a meeting or comment thread. Even if you feel awkward—say it anyway.
Tell a small truth today. “I don’t know the answer, but here’s what I’m figuring out.”
Skip the 4th edit pass. Hit send, hit post, move on.
Reframe a moment of silence. They didn’t ghost you—they’re probably just tired.
Each is a step toward showing up without the imaginary audience whispering in your ear.
Still Navigating This? Me Too.
I still catch myself editing too much. Still replay random convos in my head. But now, I stop the spiral sooner.
You’re allowed to take up space, even clumsily
The truth is, no one’s waiting for you to fall.
And if you do? They’ll forget about it by dinner.
So take the shot. Make the offer. Share the idea.
Ready to Move Differently?
If this hits home, and you're tired of stalling, doubting, or over-polishing... You might like what I'm building next.
I'm offering on-demand support to help you work through moments like these. It’s simple: voice memos, short replies, clarity when you need it. So you can stop spiraling and start showing up.
Taking it one step at a time with you,
Lee